Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
