spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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