Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
