How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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