Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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