You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
