READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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