this boner is exhausting
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My life is pants optional.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
