...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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