His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
