Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
