check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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