I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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