Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
