Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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