Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize