Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
