yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
