"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
