we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize