I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
