okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
