She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
