Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
