I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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