Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
