He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
