We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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