This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
