i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
