I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there is glitter all over my balls
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
