Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
