I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize