I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
