YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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