Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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