I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
only if we run a train.
done.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
