I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
