I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
