i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
