Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
