great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
