Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
