he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
