So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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