VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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