Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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