ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
