did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
