So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
