I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
