And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
