you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
