Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We were destined to go to rehab together
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
