Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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