I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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