ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
