but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
