Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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