Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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